


5 times Charles comforts Alex and 1 time Alex comforts Charles

by lavenderlotion



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Discussions of sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Insecurity, M/M, Nightmares, POV Multiple, Protective Charles Xavier, Telepathy, X-Men: First Class (2011), discussions of anal sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:15:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22241683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderlotion/pseuds/lavenderlotion
Summary: Charles turned to him and looked him in the eye, placing a hand on Alex's shoulder and not letting up when he initially flinched away, knowing it was only because it had been many long years since someone had touched him with kindness. "Alex, please calm, my boy. None of these men will ever be able to hurt you again, you have my word."
Relationships: Alex Summers & Charles Xavier, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 55





	5 times Charles comforts Alex and 1 time Alex comforts Charles

**1**

Charles took a deep breath and focused on the angry whirlwind of emotions storming through Alex's mind as they walked through the prison. This was...well, it certainly wasn't a place Charles had ever imagined himself being inside, for  _ any _ reason. It was quite disgusting, really, and Charles found himself stepping carefully to ensure he didn't get a thing on his loafers. 

The guard marching behind them was thinking quite loudly and his thoughts were rather perverted. Charles stepped closer to Alex's side and urged for Erik to slow down so that he was a step behind them as opposed to a step in front of them. When Erik sent a feeling of curiosity over the mind link they had come to share over recruitment missions, Charles pushed some of the things the guard was thinking about Alex towards him. 

Erik, as Charles had thought he would be, was suitably angry and immediately moved to flank them after sending the guard a rather sharp smile.  _ Very good, _ Charles pressed at him, and then folded his hands behind his back as they kept walking. Eventually, they had to pass by a row of cells—something Charles would have been very happy to  _ never repeat _ . The men in this prison were...well, they certainly were not the company he usually kept.

“The base we’re going to is much more comfortable than that cell you were in,” Charles told Alex, trying to distract himself as much as the boy from the mutterings of the inmates. “If you would like, we can even stop on the way and get you some clothing.”

“Don't got no money,” Alex muttered under his breath, keeping his eyes on the ground as his fists clenched at his sides. Charles wanted to reach out but kept his hands to himself, for now, as he was unsure if the touch would be a welcome one. 

“Oh, don't you worry about that at all,” Charles told him pleasantly, not put off by his surly tone. He knew that Alex’s mind was a very volatile place at the moment, and that certainly wasn’t the boy’s fault. “I come from a very wealthy family, and it's only me and my younger sister left to a fortune far too grand for us to ever go through. It won’t be a bother at all, and every man needs a few staple pieces. Don’t you agree, Erik?”

“I agree that you’re a snob,” Erik said under his breath, but Charles knew it was meant in jest so he aimed a warm smile at the other man. 

He picked up the way Alex noticed his expression, and thought perhaps he should attempt to be a bit more subtle with is affection towards Erik. Well, if this was going to be a problem it would be better to know, so Charles allowed himself to skim Alex's surface thoughts. There was too much there for Charles to truly understand what was happening, and while Alex had picked something up, it had quickly been dismissed by his nearly overpowering unease at being in the halls again.

Charles needed to know, so he looked over to Erik and sniped back, “Don't be rude, dear,” dropping the  _ friend _ he often added to the endearment, and: curiosity, interest, a small thread of hope that Alex did his very best to stamp down on. 

Very good. It would be good for Alex to be with them, then, even if Charles and Erik weren't all that open with their affection—they couldn't be, not when it was still illegal—but perhaps one day they could show Alex there was nothing shameful in being who he was.

“We’re gonna miss you, pretty boy,” one of the prisoner's sneered, and the memory in his mind was so vivid and  _ so _ cruel that Charles, without a single thought that perhaps he shouldn't, removed the memory from his mind. Another prisoner shouted something that caused Alex to lose his footing, and Charles immediately took action.

Goodness, Alex had been through quite a bit more than Charles had been expecting when he first heard the boy's mind crying out. 

_ Alex, _ Charles said loudly in his mind and did something he had  _ never _ believed himself to be capable of doing and reached into Alex’s mind to block out his hearing. Alex's step faltered, no doubt took aback by shock at the sudden lack of sense, and Charles placed a guiding hand to the small of his back as he pressed,  _ It is alright. I am sorry to invade your mind like this, truly, but you do not need to hear what these disgusting men are saying. _

_ I don't... _ Alex's thoughts trailed off, but Charles was deep enough in his mind to know what he was thinking, and it pained him greatly even as he said,  _ You do not deserve any of this, Alex. Nor did you deserve  _ anything _ that has happened to you in this truly vile place. I promise you, I will not allow you to be hurt like this again. _

Alex nodded, but he didn't say anything else as they continued to walk towards the exit. Charles pressed more firmly against Alex's back, and did his very best to project a peaceful calm, even when he wanted to go back and melt the minds of the men who hurt the boy beside him. Instead, he focused on what he could do now—gently guiding Alex forward, keeping the cruel taunts from reaching him, and sending pleasant thoughts to Alex until they had reached fresh air.

The sunlight against Alex's face felt like euphoria. Charles felt it as he was still in Alex's mind, and they let out a breath of relief at the same moment. Alex sent him a dirty look as Charles gave him back his hearing, but Charles didn't bother addressing it. Rather, Charles turned to him and looked him in the eye, placing a hand on Alex's shoulder and not letting up when he initially flinched away, knowing it was only because it had been many long years since someone had touched him with kindness. “Alex, please calm, my boy. None of these men will ever be able to hurt you again, you have my word.”

Alex nodded, but it was clear from his face alone that he didn't believe a thing Charles was saying. It didn't matter, not when he was determined to prove it.

**2**

Charles' heart was racing by the time they finally returned to the compound. He could feel his sister’s grief miles and miles out, and even without having a bond like he shared with Raven he could feel Alex, too. The boy was grieving heavily, much more than the others, and Charles took a moment to delve into his mind and find out why.

“Darwin is dead,” Charles choked out, reaching over and tangling the hand not pressed to his temple with Erik's. He spared a thought to ensure Moira thought nothing from her place in the back seat, and he gripped Erik's hand as tightly as he could as he worked from extracting himself from Alex's mind. “Oh, Erik.”

“It will be okay, Charles,” Erik told him, but they both knew it was a lie. True or not, the conviction in Erik's voice was something that Charles could grasp on to, and he used it to anchor himself back in his own mind and turn back to his partner.

“Shaw is a mutant,” Charles told him, adjusting his grip so he was no longer squeezing Erik's hand for strength but holding it for comfort. Erik's mind was incredibly impressive, and the way he was able to compartmentalize information was truly breathtaking. He did so now, slotting the information away to deal with later as he pulled Charles' hand up to press a long kiss to his knuckles. 

“We'll deal with that once the children are alright,” Erik told him, and for the rest of the drive to the compound, Charles allowed himself to hope. 

That was squarely squashed the moment they arrived. The children were worse off than Charles could have imagined. Raven was in his arms in a second, and a weight that had been upon his shoulders lifted away as he checked her over to make sure she wasn't injured. The kids told them what happened in starts and stops, and Charles...well, he offered to take them home. This was a war, and a war was no place for children. 

The children's resolve to stay was heartening. It gave Charles a bit of hope that not all was lost, that they would still be able to come out victorious and create a world where they could live in peace. He knew that Erik didn't think quite feel the same, that for the other man, this was just further proof that Shaw needed to die. Charles tried to remind himself that murder wasn't the answer, but it was hard with the children's minds so very loud with grief.

The other's went off to pack, but Alex stayed behind, sitting on the bench with his hands clasped between him and his entire body slumped forward like it was impossible to hold himself up. Charles ached for him, and he softly brushed over the edges of his mind to see what he should do. Alex's mind was too destructive to glean anything useful, and he took a deep breath as he considered the boy before him.

In the end, Charles followed his instincts and stepped forward, crouching down so the two of them were on eye level. Alex didn't look up, didn't do anything to show that he knew Charles was before him, but he wasn't deterred. He could only imagine how much Alex was hurting, especially with the confusion and the uncertain feelings he had for Darwin that were also wrestling through his thoughts and making everything hurt a great deal more. 

_ Such a poor boy. _

He grabbed Alex's shoulder and ducked his head so he could look into his eyes, and told him seriously, “Darwin died at Shaw's hand. It was  _ Shaw _ who killed him, not you, Alex.”

Alex said nothing. He didn't move. Instead, he took a shuddering breath and Charles was glad he was already crouched down so he could pull Alex into his arms when the boy began to cry. Holding him tightly, Charles whispered nonsense into his ear and pressed a soothing calm gently around his thoughts, and promised himself he would do everything in his power to ensure something like this never happened again. 

Alex deserved so, so much more than this.

**3**

Charles could sense Alex’s discomfort from his room. He had a very loud mind, though it was especially noisy when he was unsettled. He was incredibly unsettled now, tossing and turning in his bed and projecting quite negative thoughts. It was their third night at the mansion, and Charles knew the poor lad hadn’t slept the last two at all. 

That had been perfectly clear that evening when Alex had spent nearly half an hour snapping at them all. Charles knew that Alex was tense and that he was grieving, but it didn’t make being cussed at any more pleasant. Still, he hadn’t punished him—not that it was even his place to, despite what the children seemed to think—and had just asked that Alex rest up before speaking with them again. 

But rest was clearly not coming to him. Charles had to work to keep his mind partially separate so that he didn’t become too overwhelmed by the projected emotions and lose himself. Breathing deeply, he focused back on the pen in his hand and used the weight of it to draw him back to his own mind. 

_ Alex, _ Charles said from his study, unsure if the boy would want him physically in his space,  _ I’m very sorry to bother you, but I can sense you’re having trouble sleeping. Is there anything I can do to assist you? _

Charles sat quietly for many moments, though Alex’s thoughts didn’t much quiet down at any point. He was alright with waiting, though, and he looked through some of the paperwork Moira had given him to review. 

_ The bed’s too fucking soft, _ Alex growled into his head, clearly enough that Charles was a touch impressed at the precise projection of thoughts. 

Hm. Well, there wasn’t too much Charles could do about that other than,  _ There is a spare room with a rather old mattress. I’ve placed you all in rooms that have been recently redone, but that might suit your needs better? _

Charles projected the location of the room and how to get there from Alex’s current room and didn’t hear anything in response. That was alright, as he hadn’t been expecting one. Alex was still very distant, grieving very painfully over what he lost and what he hadn’t even known was there to lose. It was clear from some of his thoughts that Alex hadn’t even been aware he was attracted to men before Darwin died and that...

Well, it was really rather tragic. Charles ached for him fiercely. After everything that poor boy had gone through, life had just thrown more at him. It wasn’t fair, and Charles tipped his head back as he pinched his nose to hold off a growing headache at just the very thought of it. All of these kids had been through a great deal more than they deserved, and it didn’t look like Charles was making it any better for them. 

“Are you ever coming to bed?” Erik’s voice was a shock, even though Charles had known he was there. When he looked up, Erik was leaning against the door frame. The light of the fire made his features rather striking, and Charles soaked in the image with a pleased sigh. 

“I had planned to,” he answered, a grin curving his lips as he tried to push past his previous musings. Alex had found the room, and from what Charles could tell that bed was already better. Very good. “Why, you couldn’t wait for me?”

Erik’s own grin stretched into something filthy as he began to stalk forward, and Charles laughed loudly when Erik said, “Oh, you know how impatient I am, Charles.”

**4**

Alex was worried. Charles wasn't entirely sure about what, not without delving deeper than the thoughts he was projecting, but Charles knew he was feeling incredibly anxious about something. It had started earlier in the day while he had been alone with Darwin, and the realization made Charles frown. There was certainly something going on there, something Charles was doing his very best to keep his nose out of. 

But it was hard to mind himself with how deeply he had come to care for the young boy, filled with so much rage and even more hurt. Charles knew he had a habit of trying to fix things, of trying to fix  _ people, _ and Alex's mind called out for help near constantly. He was very sure that Alex didn't know quite how loudly he often projected and Charles wasn't going to tell him, as it comforted him to know that Alex, while possibly upset, was physically alright.

Now, though, even knowing Alex was safe and unhurt wasn't enough to quell his worry. There was something wrong, something that was bothering the boy and if he had to guess, it was something that had to do with Darwin and the way they had been circling one another. 

Charles, frustratingly, could never get anything off Darwin. The man's mutation was complex and incredible enough to block out nearly all attempts at reading. Sure, Charles could feel the usual feelings that were his baseline, the stray thoughts he picked up without actively trying, but if he ever turned his concentration on Darwin then his mutation built up a maze Charles had never been able to get through. 

It was maddening and now it only served to worsen Charles' worry. Something had happened between the two of them, Charles was certain, but he could only pick up how Alex was feeling and could get nothing from Darwin even when he tried. Sighing heavily, Charles stared blankly at the paperwork Moira had sent him and knew he wouldn't be able to get anything done until he’d spoken with Alex. 

Thankfully, Alex came to him. Charles almost always had an unconscious awareness of Alex's thoughts, born from how very protective he felt over the younger lad, and he knew the moment Alex's resolve set that he would be coming to him. He already had a glass of water on his desk waiting for Alex when the boy entered his office, though one look at Alex's face and Charles was out of his seat and rounding his desk. 

“Alex?” Charles asked softly, not wanting to startle the boy when he already looked like he was about to explode. A quick look at his thoughts showed them to be a horrible, twisted mess of anxiety and more fear than Charles knew what to do with. It stole his breath, for a moment, before he reached Alex and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Alex, what's wrong?”

Alex opened his mouth to answer, and then his face crumpled. Charles' heart ached at the sight, watching as Alex pulled himself together until he was standing with his shoulders back and a defiant look on his face that made Charles want to tuck him away somewhere safe that he could stay for the rest of his life, a place where no one would ever hurt him again. Charles wanted to reach out for more contact, but with how tensely Alex was standing, he wasn't sure if it would be a good idea.

“I...I, and Darwin, he and I—” Alex's voice broke, and it was clear he could not continue. Charles hummed, considering, but all he could feel was Alex's fear. 

Doing his best to figure out what was wrong, Charles reassured, “Don't you worry, my boy, there is no one in this house that will report us.” He reached out and laid a hand on Alex's shoulder so the boy would know Charles was including him without having to say it. Alex's thoughts were often very loud, especially now that Darwin was back, and Charles knew he was having a rather hard time. “I promised you, you're safe now.”

Alex nodded but said nothing. From the way his turmoil hardly lessened, Charles hadn't quite nailed what Alex was worried about. A long moment of silence stretched between them as Charles patiently waited for what he was sure would be more from Alex, rubbing a thumb over his shoulder as he held him firmly. 

Eventually, Alex lifted his face to meet Charles’ eyes. His own were dark, filled with all the evil things that had been done to him over the years. His voice was a haunted whisper as he asked, “D-does it hurt?”

Charles was about to ask what Alex was talking about when the boy shoved an image Charles would have liked to go his entire life without ever seeing at his mind. 

Instantly, Charles tugged Alex into his arms and held him tightly. He hid his tears in Alex's hair as he pressed back at him a series of emotions and feelings, incapable of speaking at the moment. No wonder Alex was so terrified—and he was scared of being  _ intimate _ with Darwin, that much was clear now—when Alex had only ever experienced what it was like to be with another man in prison. 

Goodness. Charles' throat felt too raw, his eyes burning too badly to keep them open else he began to cry, when faced with the reality of all the things Alex had gone through during his short years. Charles thought about what it was like to be intimate with  _ Erik, _ how lovely it was to be intimate with someone he cared for and who cared for him in turn, and he pressed another series of emotions to Alex’s mind. 

Alex sucked in a breath and held him back, though he angled his hips away. Thinking nothing of it and not bothering to draw attention to something Charles' thoughts had clearly caused, he continued to hold Alex in a tight hug and rub his back. He had to wonder when the last time this boy received a hug was, and Charles vowed to ensure he never went years without one again. If Charles had his way, he would hug Alex so often that the boy would be sick of it. 

Finally, Charles was steady enough to pull back. He wiped briefly at his face before cupping Alex's neck, petting down the soft hair along the back of his head and looking into his eyes. It was then he realized he felt as strongly for Alex as he did Raven, and he knew he would never stop caring for this wonderful boy who had been hurt so much. 

“Does that help any?” Charles asked, and then for safe measure pressed a few images of the mechanics of things, just so Alex could ensure whatever happened was happening correctly and as painlessly as possible. Alex nodded at him quickly, and he ducked back in and stole a very quick hug before taking a small step back. His mind was calmer than it had been only moments before, thankfully, and Charles gave him a smile. 

“Alex, my boy,” the endearment slipped out before he could stop himself, and he ran a thumb over Alex's jaw slowly. When he spoke next, Charles' voice was steady and sharp with threat, “if he hurts you, you tell me.”

Alex nodded, something that tasted like relief tinting his thoughts, and Charles pulled him forward so he could press the briefest of kisses to Alex's forehead before the boy ducked away and scampered off with halfhearted complaints that Charles knew he didn't mean.

**5**

Charles was hardly awake when the knock to his door startled him out of the soft hold sleep still had on him. He rubbed his eyes, patting Erik's stomach when the man started shifting beside him, and reached out. Alex's mind was incredibly familiar after the last few weeks, and it reached out for Charles in a way that no mind ever had before. Maybe it was because of how much Charles had grown to care for the lad, but there was something special there.

“It's Alex,” Charles whispered, leaning over and giving Erik a soft kiss, “I'm going to see what he needs, he doesn't feel well.”

Because now that Charles was conscious enough to hear Alex's thoughts, it was clear that the boy was distressed. He was calling out to Charles' mind quite loudly, though Charles had learned that Alex couldn't control how loudly he was thinking. Alex was always so focused on his mutation, on the energy he was absorbing and the way his body was conducting it, that trying to keep his thoughts to himself was something that he was incapable of.

So Charles didn't mind, and it meant he knew to hurry with pulling on a pair of sleeping pants. As soon as he slipped a shirt on from the ground, he knew that it belonged to Erik, but he didn't bother changing it. If there was anyone Charles was comfortable discussing his relationship with, it was Alex. He'd already helped Alex a number of times when he had questions about his own relationship, and he knew Alex wouldn't be bothered.

In fact, Charles found Alex to be dressed in one of Darwin's sweaters, the sleeves hanging down to the tips of his fingers. It was rather adorable, and that loose sweater with Alex's rumpled hair made him look rather young. While Charles  _ was _ nearly a decade his senior, sometimes it felt like there were more years than that between them.

Like now, when Alex shuffled his socked feet against the carpet and refused to meet Charles’ eyes. He sighed fondly, quirking a smile. “Hello, Alex,” Charles greeted quietly, stepping forward and placing a hand on the boy's shoulder, “would you like to sit in the study?”

Alex shrugged, but he didn't move away from Charles' touch like he would have once done. Charles moved his hand to Alex's lower back as he guided them to the couch he kept in the study attached to his bedroom, and thought about how very far Alex had come since they first retrieved him from prison. He was very proud of all of them, but Alex especially for how he had learned to calm some of the anger that was always boiling below the surface.

Charles fetched Alex a glass of water from the pitcher he filled each morning, getting for himself a finger of whisky. Alex was already sat on the couch when Charles joined him, slouched forward with his hands gripped between them. He straightened up when Charles handed him the glass, and he took a long sip.

“Was it a nightmare?” Charles asked, though he suspected not. Alex hadn't been having terrible dreams since Darwin came back, something Charles was very thankful for. Between Alex and Erik, Charles had gotten very little sleep the first week or so in the mansion, constantly being awoken be either of their minds crying out in the night.

Alex shook his head, and Charles’ suspicions were confirmed. Well, it was clearly something important for Alex to have come to him at such a late hour. Of course, Charles wasn't ignorant of what was happening in the morning, but Alex had seemed alright earlier while they had been planning what to do with Shaw and what would be happening in Cuba. 

Looking through Alex's thoughts, it was easy to find what he needed. Alex’s mind had always been open to him but it was especially so lately. They had grown very close the last few days, spending a considerable amount of time together as things came to a close. Charles enjoyed working with him and he knew from Alex’s thoughts that he found him calming to be around. 

Now, it was easy to see what was bothering him. 

“You are not a murderer, Alex," Charles told him firmly. It was something that he found himself repeating a fair bit, but it wasn't a task he minded. He couldn't imagine living with the things that Alex piled upon his own shoulders and staying sane. Alex was an incredibly strong individual, and occasionally reminding him of that was no hardship.

“I-I know,” Alex admitted, such an improvement from where he had once been. Charles beamed at him proudly, clapping his shoulder. 

“Good. You are such a strong man, Alex. Is that what is bothering you so greatly tonight?”

“I don't wanna kill anyone else,” Alex whispered quietly, and Charles moved to squeeze his hand. “I don't...I just don't wanna be a murderer, ya know?”

“I can't promise that won't be needed of you,” Charles told him seriously, not willing to lie, even if it would bring Alex comfort. He knew that Alex would appreciate honesty more than false platitudes. “I can promise that I wish you won't have to, but that if you do, we will still be here for you. That  _ I _ will still be here for you.”

“Really?”

“Alex, no matter what happens, you have become my family,” Charles told him seriously, looking into the boy's eyes. “That is not going to change no matter what. I love you, alright?”

“Thanks, Prof,” Alex choked out, all but diving across the couch and wrapping himself around Charles' side. Charles lifted an arm so he could hold him tightly against him, and closed his eyes.

No matter what happened, tomorrow was going to be hard and there was very little that Charles would be able to do to make any of it better, He breathed in the citrus scent of Alex's shampoo and took a moment to pray that somehow, things would turn out alright.

**+1**

Alex was pacin', tryin' to figure out what the hell he was supposed to do. Ever since that goddamn beach, shit had been fallin' apart faster than any 'a 'em could put it back together. In a crazy fucking turn of events, Alex was actually doin' pretty okay—though he knew it was 'cause he had Darwin back. Nothin' seemed too bad with Darwin at his side, and he was actually one 'a the sanest ones, save for Darwin himself. 

Xavier wasn't doin' good. Alex got it. Erik had been the love of the dude's life, but he was actin' like a bitch. Drinkin' all the goddamn time that he wasn't in physical therapy and wheelin' 'round the mansion like he ain't got nothin' to live for. Like the rest of them didn't matter to him. Like he was gonna give up just 'cause his boyfriend had run off on him. 

Well, fuck that. Alex was  _ not _ down with that shit, 'specially when Xavier had spent so many goddamn weeks talkin' about teamwork and carin' about one another, and pretendin' that Alex mattered to him. Well, Alex had been turned on too many goddamn times in his life and had  _ never _ had the power to say nothin', not till now.

With a deep breath, he barged into Xavier's room without knockin'. If Xavier was gonna say they were family then Alex was gonna treat him as such, and he figured family took liberties with things like knockin'. Alex wouldn't know since he’d never actually had one, but Xavier said they were when Alex had needed him to. Now, that felt like it'd just been fancy words to get him to fight, and if that was true...

Nah. It couldn't be, or else Alex actually  _ would _ blow the place to bits. Tryin’ to get a handle on his mutation was rough when he was so upset, and it only got worse when he finally spotted the man.

Xavier was at his study, hunched over his desk and starin' at it like he didn't see nothin'. Alex told himself it didn't bother him, that the lifeless look in Charles' eyes didn't make his skin crawl. It was fine, it was all fine, and he didn't care. Didn't care one bit.

Fuck it. Even he didn't believe himself. Whatever, he'd have time to deal with that later. Alex marched up to the desk, slammin' down the large glass 'a water he'd brought with him and lookin' down at Charles. “Drink this. Sober up.”

Xavier said nothin', ignorin' him like a fucking tool. Alex wanted to shake some goddamn sense into him. 'Cause sure they'd lost a few 'a them, but they still had others left.  _ Alex _ was still left, and he'd thought he'd meant something to Xavier.

“Stop being such a sad sack of shit, fuck face,” Alex snarled roughly, ignorin' the way his chest was achin'. He didn't wanna care that Xavier wasn’t talkin’ to him and that he was just hidin’ out in his room and drinking all day. It shouldn’t matter to Alex what the hell Xavier did, ‘cause he was just some rich prick who gave ‘em a place to stay when they needed it. 

God, it killed him that he cared so much. 

“I'm sorry,” Xavier said heavily, slowly looking up at Alex. “I—I'm not sure what to do.”

“Wow man, no idea. Maybe get your shit together?” Alex suggested sarcastically, rollin' his eyes.

Clearly. that wasn't really the right answer though, cause Xavier teared up. Fuck. “I...don't know how to do that without him.”

Ah, yeah, 'course it was 'bout Erik. Alex got that they were like, madly in love or whatever, but  _ really? _ Even Alex hadn't moped this hard and Darwin had  _ died. _ Alright, takin' a deep breath, Alex tried to think of somethin' deep, like some of the shit Xavier always told him when Alex needed somethin'.

“Look, man, there’s someone out there who loves you. Grow a fucking pair of balls and go get him.” Sounded like real good advice in his head. Alex wasn't good at bein' soft. Bein' soft made you  _ weak, _ and Alex was still learnin' that was somethin' he could be and not be afraid. Xavier had been real good and makin' him feel safe, and comfortin' him every time Alex hadn't been able to be strong, but he didn't know how to give that back.

“You have no idea what it's like,” Xavier muttered, and Alex took a real deep breath so he didn't punch him in the face. 

“Ya know what Charles?  _ Go fuck yourself.  _ Darwin fuckin’ died, right in front ‘a my eyes, ‘cause ‘a the power I got sittin’ inside my chest. Don't you dare tell me I don't know what's it like,” Alex snarled, energy sparkin' off 'a his shoulder. He took a deep breath before he blew the goddamn mansion up, and looked down at Charles with a sneer. “Lookit, you can sit 'round and bitch 'bout how Erik left. Or you can realize you kinda fucked up, stop drinkin' yourself to an early fucking grave, and go get him back.”

“I can't do that,” Xavier said, and Alex was about to blow.

“Then you know what, come back for me. You said we were family, you and I, and your family needs you. So get the fuck together, 'cause there's no way in hell I'm openin' a fucking school on my own,” Alex spat, turned around, and stalked outta the room.

He'd said what he needed to say. Xavier was either gonna sober up or not, but Alex wasn't gonna fucking care either way. He'd laid his cards out on the table in the way he knew how. He told Xavier he needed him, and now it was up to him to do somethin' about it. 

Hopefully...hopefully, Alex would be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi to me on [tumblr](https://lavender-lotion.tumblr.com/)!  
> comments and kudos are much appreciated!


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